Unto these men of to-day will I not be LIGHT, nor be called light. THEM—will I blind: lightning of my wisdom!
With a candour, that proved how truly she esteemed and loved him, and which endeared her to him, if possible, more than ever, she told Valancourt all her reasons for rejecting his proposals. Those, which influenced her concerning his future welfare, he instantly refuted, or rather contradicted; but they awakened tender considerations for her, which the frenzy of passion and despair had concealed before, and love, which had but lately prompted him to propose a clandestine and immediate marriage, now induced him to renounce it.
XXIX. He aggravated his barbarous actions by language equally outrageous.
put out their eyes! The triumph was almost too much for his heart; for Emily’s sake, he endeavoured to stifle his grief, but the swelling anguish would not be restrained.
“O Emily!” said he, “I must leave you—I _must_ leave you, and I know it is for ever!” “There is nothing in my nature,” said he, “that I commend or approve so much, as my adiatrepsia (inflexible rigour).” Upon his grandmother Antonia’s giving him some advice, as if it was a small matter to pay no regard to it, he said to her, “Remember that all things are lawful for me.” When about to murder his brother, whom he suspected of taking antidotes against poison, he said, “See then an antidote against Caesar!” And when he banished his sisters, he told them in a menacing tone, that he had not only islands at command, but likewise swords.
One of pretorian rank having sent several times from Anticyra [430], whither he had gone for his health, to have his leave of absence prolonged, he ordered him to be put to death; adding these words “Bleeding is necessary for one that has taken hellebore so long, and found no benefit.” It was his custom every tenth day to sign the lists of prisoners appointed for execution; and this he called “clearing his accounts.” And having condemned several Gauls and Greeks at one time, he exclaimed in triumph, “I have conquered Gallograecia.” [431]